this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
