she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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