We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
