At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
