Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She even gives head with a lisp.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
third nipple confirmed
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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