that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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