then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
