apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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