Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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