I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
