btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
