I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
