I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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