I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
