Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
