I'm jealous of your bromance
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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