i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
