..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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