My room smells like vodka and shame
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
