I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
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