i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
