East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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