You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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