Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
