So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
