im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
