the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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