So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
