Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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