so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I got inside last night via doggy door
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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