we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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