if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
