please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
worst night to have a conscience
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
