You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
