My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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