That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Randomize
