My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
