My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
don't judge my taste in strippers
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
