dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
