So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she pinky promised me she was 18
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
