i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
