I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
