just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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