hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
