Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
