We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You don't make any sense
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