My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
