He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
