My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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