So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
