I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
