I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
